scribbles in my head

So my dog died two days ago.

I was pretty sad because the night before his death i was going to sit with him, but i was too tired from school. My dad said he went quietly, which was something i asked for a while back. I dont know how islam goes about paradise for animals but im more than sure that he's in a better place where he can't feel pain. i wrote a little poem for him.

as you stare into the moon for comfort,
your pains and aches never leave,
you've let out your whines and yelps,
you've scared the ones you loved with your aliments, but
they took you where ever you needed to go,
they petted you with effort to make the pain fade away,
she sat with you, the master that met you first,
she sat with you at night and caressed your body and fur,
"These precious bones that were formed,
and this beautiful face that was sculpted,
and these teeth that protect me from danger,
you are perfect with all of your flaws."
she holds your head and moves her hand over your eyes,
and you slowly drift away

through the stars you've seen in the sky

and into paradise.


Don't worry i'm getting over it. I had the help of some loved ones to keep me happy. سعید

I've noticed that when i am studying farsi i dont feel like i'm getting any further. Yeah, i'm learning with online lessons but the actual live classes i'm taking. I don't feel like they actually help me. There's only like 7 students in a tiny room and a few of them know farsi but can't read, and the ones who are in the class and dont know farsi at all, they don't want to be there! It feels like i'm the only one with a real reason to be in that class! And either i'm starting in the wrong place or i just don't know enough, it won't matter because its a live class and they move at their own pace. I hate making every one speak english for me when i'm the one who should be trying! but when i do i can't get what i want to say out of my mouth! but then it's like if we don't speak english then we can't actually communicate with out tearing up what we mean.

i dont know why i'm getting myself worked up about this WHEN I SHOULD BE STUDYING!