this has been a long november

So much love. So many hours. So many "hi"s. Too many emotions have stained this years november. i'm tired. i sleep rather early now. Im still having a hard time at school. Just trying to pull through. These breaks are nice. Like an oasis in some sort of desert. Or a coffee break on late night shifts. but i can't ever get too comfortable. I can never just let myself go on these kinds of breaks. Nope. I'm still thinking about work. I'm still worried about grades. Still picturing school in my head. Still feelin' bad about myself.

I've actually been forgetting to eat. I've never done that before. I went a whole day with out eating two days ago. i just didnt eat. i wasnt busy. i had a few snacks. no body cooked that day. i forgot to eat lunch today. i didnt eat much of break fast either. I find my self really thirsty all the time.
Texting and facebook is getting kind of lame.

I'm trying to get my hair long again. There's this CUNT that sits next to me in ap english. Her hair is so pretty and dark. It smells like Aussie or herbal essences. Its like this weird damp fragrant aura cloud around her hair. i want mine like that. my hair barely touches my shoulders. i remember how long my hair was. it would always float into someones face when they tried eating a sandwhich next to me. everybody liked it. everyone thought it looked better when i cut it last november. But now when i see long hair. It's like the symbol of sexy woman. like long hair = girl. Long dark, fragrant, shiny hair. Something my boyfriend could put his fingers in.
My hair grows rather fast. i'll probably wait a year and a half for it to get to my back. yea. i'll just take care of it till then.

When you invite 30 people to your birthday party...

and only 5 show up,

it makes you wonder what you're gonna do with all that pizza,cake, and soda that your dad bought.
so you go driving at night with your best friend, and throw it all at your old elementary school.
and egg your own school, with 12 straight from the freezers.'


happy birthday me.