when you miss someone..

When you miss someone special that's so far away, you can't help but try to remember the few nights you saw them before it was time for you to go. In your head you try to replay the moments of that last goodbye, creating a vivid image of their longing face, their anxious body in a stance pointed to you, the sun on their skin. You go back farther in time to remember more places you saw that had anything to do with them. At night you fall asleep remembering them, while they're having breakfast remembering you. With the same ray of light flowing through their window from the sun in the sky being reflected on to the yawning moon pouring silvery light on the outlines of your cheek in the dark.
When you miss someone there's a hole in your heart. You talk to them often, you know everything about them, but there's nothing of their essence to warm you in a cold bed. There's nothing to kiss, nothing to sing to, nothing there for you to hear the sound of their breath. It's an empty feeling, but you must carry a heavy heart where ever you go that life leads you. Still with the sound of their voice and their image in your mind, you continue to move forward and your love becomes pure and strong. With time, the teary eyes from the pain of an echoing heart will soon be dried by the hands of your someone.

hale hooleh....

خیلی خوبه!

I got a hair cut and i look as sexy as ever!
I feel refreshed and mature! I am very HAPPYYYYYY!

i said i don't want to go to school.

I'm here at school when I don't have to be, everything is grey and tired and boring because none of my friends are here and I can't use my phone today because minutes cost money. So I don't like being here...but I kind of have be here to because, it's a little complicated.

I have driving school today, it's my first class. I really can't wait to get my license. My parents are buying my car so they're practically letting me run away. No I'm just kidding, it'd just be really awesome to be able to go off and drive where ever i wanted. Two weeks in the class I'll have my permit since I'm already 16 so I'll start driving sooner than a 15 year old.

My driving school is right next to my high school, and my house is 20 miles away from both places. So why would my mother waste gas and energy to drive all the way back to my house when i could've been here the whole time? I was home alone this morning but to my surprise she came and picked me and my sister up with such a short temper, i couldn't help but bitch back at her.

I found out that i really am suicidal. I talked to a therapist and we came to a conclusion of three problems that i have.
1. I am not challenged enough in school.
That is why i always complain that all my classes are too easy. I feel like i am too smart for regular classes and i am too dumb for Pre-AP class.

2.I miss my love and my friends.
I have A lunch and all of my friends have B lunch so i am alone the entire time of my lunch period. This is the time where usually my depressions start because there is no one to talk to.

3. There are stress factors connecting my trip to Iran and my grades.
Since the want for Iran is great then the need for good grades is desperate.
I'm incredibly careful and meticulous about my work now and if i mess up it's like
THE END OF THE WORLD.