I'm trying to start a band with two of my friends. I think it would be a really good sound, with my voice, zachs guitar, and d'nells child hood piano skills, i think we could make something pretty smooth. I've been listening to the honey trees lately and they've certainly inspired me to pick up my guitar again.
I have seemed to develop an occasional wave of depression. This week has been rather gloomy. I don't understand completely why i can't seem to stay thinking positively. When i really feel sad or unmotivated to keep going i try to think about happy things like seeing my family in Iran again, or a brand new guitar, or money, or chocolate, but then i get another thought in my head saying that "Even though i'm dreaming about these things to make me happy i still don't have them in real life and most of these things i never will have them," and it makes me feel even worse than before. Nothing really makes me happy anymore except talking to my friends or my loved one. But i can never see enough of either of them. I'm alone mostly the entire time at school and money is such a problem when it comes to international calling cards. Life is so easy but my mind is so dependent on everything and if its not satisfied then it falls apart. I feel like i'm not a part of my own mind anymore. I'm tired of having to deal with its traumatic response to things. Like i've been cut in half separating the bad part of my self and im stuck in my body with it.
so i suffer.
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